(Editor’s Note: This
article appeared on the cover of the November 2004
issue. It is one of my favorites.)
It's that time of year again! Calendars are pulled out
to plan family gatherings; menus are being prepared; a
sense of excitement and anticipation is in the air as
we head into the holiday season. So often, though,
this time of year ends up becoming a time of family
strain and conflict, and the air of excitement is
replaced with frustration and sadness. Thanksgiving
should be a time for joy and thankfulness, and
Christmas should be a time of praise and celebration
of Jesus' birth. But, too often we end up allowing the
Evil One to rob us of embracing the season and its
many beneficial meanings.
Remember, "holiday" means "holy
day." Thanksgiving is holy because America was
dedicated to God. Our founding fathers acknowledged
God as The Founder. This land was created by Him and
we are to be the stewards of it. Thanksgiving allows
us to reflect on our history and it is to Holy God
that we are to give thanks - Do we?
Christmas is holy because of the birth of our
precious Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ - Who lived
as an example for us - Who bore our sins on the cross
- Who rose from the grave and is our Living Lord.
Christmas allows us to celebrate His birthday - Do we?
"Holi-days" are to be "set apart."
Somehow I think the majority of Americans have missed
the significance of Thanksgiving and Christmas. As
Christians, we who are to be "set apart" -
we who are to be "holy" because He is holy,
need to be an example of how we handle these upcoming
holidays. We could actually be a witness to an
unregenerate family member or co-worker. So how can we
avoid being profane during the holidays and actually
purpose to create and experience these
"holidays"?
Whether you are planning on traveling to meet
family or you are hosting the celebration, allow
yourself adequate time for preparation. Take the day
off before traveling to diffuse anxiety and tension
that comes with stepping outside routine. If taking
time off is not viable, start packing 3 to 4 days
before departure. Set a goal to have everything
completed the day before departure, allowing you to
begin the holiday in a relaxed mood. Too often the
holiday begins with tension - parents yelling,
children crying, and dogs barking - and the Evil One
begins to rob the holiness from the onset.
If you are traveling with children or adolescents,
use the time as an opportunity to interact. Yes, take
the opportunity to interact! In this day and time, a
number of vehicles are equipped with a TV. How easy to
pop in a DVD and block out the opportunity to develop
your relationship with your children. Children starve
for interaction, so you will have an eager audience in
the vehicle. Let me suggest creating a craft box, one
that can easily slide under the car seat. Fill each
child's box with a variety of crafts. Let your
children pick out craft objects that are enticing and
stimulating to their own creative mind and while
traveling have them create. Use the opportunity to
reminisce on past holidays and talk about fun, happy
memories. Take favorite music CDs along and sing
together. With adolescents you will have to look for
opportunities to interact. Create stimulating
conversation; seek your adolescent's opinion. Most
certainly, if you have an adolescent at driving age,
let him/her get behind the wheel. Enjoy this precious
time with your teenager - the days together are short,
and before you realize it, you will be launching that
precious young adult. Interact, don't isolate!
During the family gathering, create a balance of
together-time and alone-time. Attempt to interact with
each family member. Remember, each person is growing
and maturing and that means change. Participate in
interactive events - cooking, playing a game of
football, or watching a game of football while having
some healthy, constructive competition. Be a team
player and show consideration of others. Help clean up
after meals, and help keep the host's home in order -
remember to "do unto others as you would have
them do unto you." Take an occasional 20 minute
"power-nap". Remember that change of routine
actually creates stress, and a little
"snooze-time" can be rejuvenating.
Consider whether or not boundary setting is needed.
If necessary, avoid discussing topics that can become
conflictual. In extended families it is not unlikely
that you may have a "personality clash" with
another member. If so, limit contact with the
individual–do not cut-off or isolate –simply
shorten your contact time. It is your responsibility
to guard from giving place to the Evil One. Do not
allow the opportunity for irritation to develop into
dissension.
Encourage others to focus on the meaning of each
holiday. At Thanksgiving, make a concerted effort to
express thankfulness– count your blessings, and look
for the good. At Christmas, seek out ways to give of
yourself–to be a blessing to others. So as you
embark on the upcoming holidays, work to keep them
"holy," and they will not become horrible.
You may reach Beth-Anne Grant, a
licensed marriage and family therapist, at 953-0709.
Her office is at 300 South Houston Lake Rd.
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